The luxury of being unfriendly

Why do we try so hard to be nice and friendly? Friendliness is exhausting in general, both our own and that of others. Furthermore, it is often false, because nice people know, even if intuitively, that hypocrisy is the basis of good manners. We not only don't say what we think, but we tell lies to get along with others, so they think we are civilized and not barbarians.

99% of the times I ask an acquaintance “How are you?”, I should add that I don't really care at all, that I do it out of inertia and that I expect an equivalent answer: the typical contentless “fine”. To avoid having to greet or start a conversation that I already know will be absurd, I have resorted to hiding behind trees, turning abruptly, and locking myself in bathrooms of all kinds. How does one live in our society with the imperative need to not be nice?

Being unpleasant is a luxury. The very rich, artists who consider themselves geniuses, people who consider themselves irresistible, and little else, demonstrate this without complexes. But unpleasantness is forbidden to us, normal people. We have to hide our economic, talent, and beauty deficiencies with our friendliness, however false it may be.

I have such a vocation for being unpleasant that I don't even feel like saying “hello” when I arrive somewhere. In fact, I like it when people don't greet me, because I feel a special connection with people who don't. As if they were members of a strange sect, which has scattered its members in unsuspected places around the world. I also don't want to laugh out of politeness when someone tells me something that I actually consider sad and pathetic. I dream of being able to reply: “Do you realize that what you're saying is completely ridiculous? Do me a favor and leave me alone from now on.”

I don't want to socialize, nor celebrate birthdays, nor maintain conversations that will lead nowhere. I don't want to comment that summer has arrived suddenly with someone I meet on the street. I don't want people to ask me about my family, because that forces me to ask about families I don't care about. I don't want to be given gifts so I don't have to calculate an equivalent gift in the future. I don't want to smile without enthusiasm, because I miscalculate its width and my cheeks end up hurting.

Why is it so complicated to be an unpleasant, ungrateful, thankless person?