Mariona Guijarro: "It's very simplistic to say that pornography equals violence."

PalmMariona Guijarro (Palma, 1993) is a biochemist, sexologist, and sexual and menstrual educator. Her critical and social perspective led her to reject a future in biomedical research, citing its academic nature and its "patriarchal and sexist perspective on medicine and other branches of science." She decided to pursue studies promoting gender equality, and the more she researched, the more she realized that "everything had to do with sexuality." And everything is also "how men and women have historically been described and what roles society has imposed: men who are promiscuous by nature and single-parent women, also by nature." She is currently specializing in the Philosophy of Science and delving into the intersection of scientific research, sexism, and other oppressions.

What attracts you most about your work?

— They've been combining sexology consultations with sex education for some time now. One of the things that fascinates me most in the workplace is perceiving people's vulnerability from an anthropological perspective. In the end, you see that everyone suffers from the same experiences; it's often the same fears and anxieties. The problem is that there aren't enough spaces to share them, and that makes things that are more common than we think become taboo. As for the staff, I think it's changed my perspective on people a lot; we're generally clumsy. We get frustrated by wanting to do things that we can't do.

What is the most common thing found in the consultation?

— There are often many problems related to desire, because it's understood as something singular. I meet many people, especially women, with difficulties in this regard because they try to fit their desire into a very specific form. There are people who get frustrated because they think they should enjoy a practice that they don't actually enjoy, such as women who don't like penetration or find it difficult, but have always been told they like it. This makes it difficult for many women to get aroused and, consequently, reach orgasm.

How do you experience this frustration?

— Women tend to experience it from a "correct" perspective of arousal. As in many other areas of life, women try to fit in with what we've been told we should fit in. For example, there are many women who, in private, have multiple ways of touching or arousing themselves, which never come out when it comes to having sex with another person. Another example is the Satisfyer phenomenon. While it served to break the silence and taboo surrounding women masturbating, for others, it has caused anxiety because it hasn't worked for them, and they think they're failing. Simply put, there are people for whom direct stimulation doesn't work. This, coupled with the historically censored nature of desire, causes many to suffer when it comes to having sex, when it should be just the opposite. There are as many different desires and ways of getting aroused as there are people in the world. It's also worth noting that those who come to my office don't exactly represent the general public; rather, they are already interested in the subject and follow the content I usually publish on social media.

What are the most common taboos?

— The frequency with which sex should be practiced is very common. How many times a week or a month should we have sex for a relationship to go well? This question is flawed because we want to measure the quality of the relationship through the frequency of sex, and that doesn't work that way. There are couples whose frequency is, socially understood, low, but it works for them. On the other hand, there are couples who have sex more regularly, but when it comes to sharing this intimacy and connecting sexually, they aren't relaxed, nor are they doing what they truly feel. Many peaks because they end up having sex for the sake of it. check.

Where does this come from?

— From the lack of information and sexual education. Scientific pseudo-dissemination, through reports, has also done a lot of damage. clickbait published with headlines like "If you masturbate x times a day, you won't get prostate cancer." There's also a lot of taboo surrounding the topic of duration. There's usually a tendency to look for a standard that makes it more important than our personal experience. Part of the problem is that we understand sexuality as a performance, and not so much as a way of relating to each other in a living and changing way.

There's a lot of talk these days about the rise in pornography consumption among teenagers and young adults. Do you think it has a negative impact on sexual relationships? What influence does it have?

— Porn is the Trojan horse for many other things. It's the evil of all evils, and this is a very simplistic view of reality. We've gone from a prohibitive sex education to one based on fear. And it should be based on conveying it as something positive, healthy, and nurturing, where dangers and risks exist, as in all facets of life, but they are just another part of sexuality, not the thing itself. In recent years, there have been very alarming headlines about pornography, directly linking porn consumption with the rise in sexual violence, and this is very simplistic. In fact, sexological research is addressing this issue, and the initial studies don't see such a clear direct relationship, as other factors intervene. Another issue is that lately, only adolescents' consumption of pornography is discussed. This is a very adult-centric perspective, because studies indicate that, in reality, the main consumers of pornography continue to be adults. Very often, it's the parents themselves, who are worried that their children won't watch it. From a sexological perspective, we are clear that, to address this issue, we must begin by abandoning sensationalism and prohibitions, which serve no purpose other than to encourage desire. And we must educate more about freedom, knowledge, and respect. Generally speaking, I would say that, more than pornography, the problem is the lack of sexual education, which is structural. In this regard, they recommend the book Stripping Porn: A Critical Proposal for Supporting Adolescence which will be presented this Saturday the 19th at the Ateneo La Fonera, at 7:00 p.m., with the authors Laura Arcarons and Bruna Serra.

But do you think there is clearly violent and sexist pornography?

— Clearly, porn mainstream It's designed to excite you with violence. There's a lot of violence behind the recordings, and it's very sexist; but I'd say this comes from the pornography industry. It impoverishes sexuality, it doesn't cultivate it. I often explain this in sex education workshops: we must differentiate between the pornography industry, so that kids understand what's behind it, and consumption, because they are different things. There are several types of pornography that aren't violent or sexist. Therefore, this concern adults have about pornography should be accompanied by an engaging pedagogical approach for them. During the more than five years I've been offering workshops to adolescents, I've seen that they are eager to receive sex education. Some of them even know more than we do, they make very complex reflections, and they discuss issues like the difficulty of coming out with much more freedom than adults.

And what about older people? Do you think they're socially neglected when it comes to sex?

— When sexuality is understood only as very specific sexual practices involving the genitals and penetration, yes. And it's certainly real because hormones also play a role over time. But the problem is the same as always: everything is focused on that, and sexuality is much more complex and goes far beyond penetration. Sexuality always intervenes throughout our lives, even before we're born. As for older or older people, they generally experience another type of sexuality, one that isn't so closely tied to the genitals or procreation and has more to do with the magic of connecting, valuing, and caring for oneself. It's this whole aspect of sexuality that we don't know how to identify as such, and unfortunately, practices are often set aside because they're not socially valued or even despised.