'Get ready with me' to drive us completely crazy

PalmWe've had enough. Enough of this. clean look, with highlights baby lights, of traditional wivesFrom a return to mysticism and contemplation, to beige and the white Cloud Dancer. Enough of this nonsense. lattas, of bar, of playlists Pop Pilates Princess. Enough of that conservative stench that permeates everything and spreads like an odorless gas, slowly lulling us to sleep. Enough of this evangelization of good manners, of introspection, of the healthy routinesSilent and hangover-free.

It's over. It's time to go completely crazy. And that's why it's important to have this on hand when you receive the first congratulatory message this March 8th, which someone will have extracted—for example—from the magazine Readings"Smile! Today is a great day to be proud of who you are. Good morning, woman!" Not gone. The time has come to face truth, shame, and rage.

We must rebel, and we must do it now, before yet another gender gap opens up—the gap of anger. Let us remember that the intangible heritage of being angry belongs to us, the bitter, the battered, and the long-suffering. We return to the feminism we abandoned in 2019: to not shaving, to being something more punksTo using menstrual cup blood to water plants or paint a picture, to pepper spray, to fighting with some jerk at a party because "Hey, you, did you touch my ass?" We're going back to the feminism of Irantzu Varela and Silvia Federici, to what was intersectional and class-based, to what it was before becoming just another 'ism'. We're not Hailey Bieber, ladies. We, if we want, can be Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

Four steps to conquer the privilege of rage

This was intended to be a ten-point plan for burning everything down. But I thought it was better to put it into practice, so Get ready with me To reclaim the privilege of rage:

First. Think about all the times you've wanted to stand up for yourself and held back. No, it's not because your zodiac sign is Libra that you want to meet everyone's expectations. No, you're not a people pleaser. You're born with a dislike for pleasing people. You've been taught to base your self-worth on the validation of others. And if you make them angry, how can they possibly like you? They tell you that you avoid conflict, that your natural role is to bring peace; that you're assertive, open to dialogue, and conciliatory. But how many cold sores have you gotten for this? How many times have you called for help in the middle of the highway when no one could hear you? You don't need healing, forgiveness, or more therapy. That anger doesn't belong to you; it belongs to the world. So give it back.

Second. Keep in mind all the reasons that, deep down, make your heart beat faster, your blood boil: your gynecologist, who insists that you freeze your eggs, "woman, at 30 years old you're already late, still that you don't know if you want to be a mother"; Julio Iglesias, Pablo Motos, Dani Alves, Rubiales, La Manada; any man in your familysaying "bad daughter", "bad clean", "bad mother"; the dead dolls in the school in Iran; the man on the busLewd; your neighbor, who wouldn't complain so much if you were a man; the client who owes you money and knows you won't ask for it back, that you won't confront him; your friend's ex, who has reinvented himself and now talks about having 'connections' instead of relationships; the crypto bros, who are looking for valuable women with body count Low.

Third. Burn it all down, go crazy, rebel. Lose your temper, get angry, sulk. Sing "She wants to be crazy.", by Metrika, with the car windows down. Redo your eyeliner, making it thick and long. Dye your hair platinum blonde, red, or brunette. Wear a miniskirt and one crop topDefy Pinterest's rules. Don't go home. buy another round of tequilasSay "no." Say what you really think, without filters, without worrying about what others will think. Don't say "Oh, sorry! Yes, yes, thank you! Great, no problem," because yes, there is a problem, and a big one. Stop mothering your boyfriend and trying to be the perfect daughter-in-law. Don't constantly offer help by default, as if you have to earn the right to exist. Ask for what you want, with your mouth full. Fight for what belongs to you. Make mistakes. Don't always do everything perfectly. It looks bad.

Fourth. Observe how absolutely nothing happens.

Congratulations. Now then: Happy March 8th, today and always.