Palma, capital of smoke

"What cannot be, cannot be, and furthermore, it is impossible."That's the happy expression with which the bullfighter Rafael Guerra went down in history Little War, although the pleonastic expression is also attributed to Rafael Gómez Ortega The RoosterGo find him... In any case, it's about –excuse the oxymoron– bullfighting wisdom.

This very impossibility is the common thread running through all the potential wonders that the various institutions in Palma are foreshadowing. There is already such a profusion of rendersModels, infographics, idea competitions, projects, press conferences, statements... that one feels, at any time of year, like one is going through a permanent macro-joke.

If it weren't for the fact that they didn't show up on December 28th and because we already live anesthetized by this new bullfighting reality – imaginary and pharaonic – everyone would have thought that the image of the Plaza Mayor of Palma clear or of the aerial walkway that will supposedly cross the hypothetical cultural promenade that will stitch together the chimerical 'that they came to brighten our day.

Also highly improbable is the execution of the much-touted train line in Llucmajor, which envisions burying a third of the route (10 km): from the Conservatory in Son Güells to Mercapalma in Son Oms, meaning that most of the Palma section would end up underground. This fanciful project was presented in October 2024 with an estimated cost of €690 million and the expectation of awarding the contract this year. So far, the projected cost has risen to €811 million, the planned route has been lengthened by 14%, and, despite being scheduled for completion in 2025, the project remains unawarded. And yet, on the day of the presentation, Ms. Prohens was quick to declare that "we will expedite all procedures" and that "this government doesn't sell empty promises." Be careful with these metaphors, Madam President... You would do well to read Lakoff.

Another highly unfounded claim is the upcoming construction—"between one and a half and two years" from March 2025—of 20,000 homes in Palma. It's true that the far right (and the other side) have worked hard: approval by decree, reduction of amenities and green spaces, increased building heights and "development rights," lower percentage of social housing... but even so, the initiative runs up against an insurmountable obstacle: the alarming lack of the alarming lack of the alarming. A reality well known to anyone who wants to do a small home renovation. Given this situation, a reflection on the delusional proposals of the far right (and the other side) regarding immigration is now necessary, but that will have to wait for another day.

And in Palma we've grown accustomed to living with these 'innocent' marvels: a metropolitan forest of "four million m2" (that is, 4 km2), 28 new underground parking garages (one with 100 spaces at the Yacht Club, by the way), a multi-million euro renovation on Palma Beach, the sudden fervor for 700 parking spaces, the Palma Culture & Innovation BayMuseums, auditoriums, workshops, sculpture parks...), the "reorganization" of the western port (concreting 10 hectares over waters between 15 and 20 meters deep)... Spoiler alert: none of this will begin this term.

Meanwhile, in La Palma... 15,000 illegal tourist apartments, 40% of the Urban Planning permits unfilled, two years to process a driveway permit, the police without a planning scheme, surcharges for unnotified fines, chaos at the old prison, and real-life chaos in the Citizen Service Offices—worthy of illustrating a dramatic April Fool's joke—the image of the 18 beautiful shadows destroyed on the Calatrava balcony and the collapse of the medieval tower on the Sant Pere bastion. Bravo, waterfront. Bravo, cultural capital.

In the realm of non-existent April Fool's jokes, we must highlight the statements from the employers' association, always so endearing, which have warmed our hearts by saying that, despite the labor shortage plaguing the restaurant and retail sectors, they will not extend their workers' contracts because this "worsens our workers if our financial results don't improve," and because the measure, far from being a true remedy, doesn't actually change our financial results. What a load of rubbish these workers are, right?

One of these voices is, naturally, that of Juan Miguel Ferrer Juanmi, from Restauración-CAEB. The same one that already treated us to the great April Fool's joke of the season: "Mallorca has become very boring again", "we must have fun again", "more freedom and fewer obstacles", "Prohens must get rid of her complexes and be the Mediterranean Ayuso"... No commentWe will simply add another touch of bullfighting erudition:In two words, impressive."